(Poem) Fall

Fall

The world is but a season of eternal fall.

Man and circumstance
Come and go like flurries of leaves
Falling off their branches, or blown by the wind -
A brittle tune beneath travelling feet
Hurrying in the cold air, chasing after
The quickly fading daylight.

The world is but an illusion; sirens
Hiding among cruel, beautiful waves
Of gold in different shades.

Wilson Khor W.H.
8th September 2016, 0132 hours


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(Journal Entry) Void


18th March 2016, 1614 hours

There will always be times when I can feel a creeping emptiness deep within me.

It often happens when things are in transition, when I am left to wait or drift in stagnation; or when I have found a gap or have reached the end of a hectic schedule – often accompanied by the temptation to withdraw and curl up in the comforts of my dark bedroom after long periods of burning myself out.

(Journal Entry) Realisation

3rd May 2016, 0523 hours

I spend my whole life fighting and struggling for my own identity, often in conflict with those who are close to me, even with family and my closest friends - constantly figuring out what is right for me, and fearing that their expectations and conventions would rob me of my freedom to be who I truly am.

Over the years of experiencing countless hurt, rejection and abuse, I grew up being subconsciously mistrustful towards everyone. The alienation that came from that eventually became loneliness and began eating into me and my self-image - which drove me to seek approval and acceptance from others, only to create more mistrust between myself and others once I am met with hurts and disappointments.

But now, I realised that all these years of struggle and resistance were actually nothing but irrelevance. What I should be truly concerned about isn't really whether I should be different or be ordinary, or to obey or rebel. It does not matter whether am I special or unconventional...

...but that I am His - to submit and abide to only His expectations and standards, no more and no less.

That, should have been my everything during all the time I have been wasting away.

(Journal Entry) Touch



6th March 2016, 1744 hours
I need Your touch.

In this season when I am holding and dangling at the end of my ropes, tight- roping on the verge of breaking down,

I need Your touch all the more.

This weary body of mine needs someone to hold me up. Someone to give me a pat on the shoulder; a hug when things are tough. Perhaps, even a massage for my often stiff shoulders.

It feels cold to be walking in and out, going about day after day with just my two arms, feet and a limited twenty- four hours.

(Journal Entry) Companions



9th March 2016, 2153 hours

Nobody is meant to walk his life alone. Neither is anyone designed to stand by himself all alone.

Having said this, no man is also meant to ever be an island

A conversation I had with someone today has reminded me again of one of my favourite quotes, by Lord Albert Tennyson.

I am a part of every one whom I have met.

(Journal Entry) Wealth


9th March 2016, 1805 hours

Money is something that I do not have.

In this past four months, all I had was just barely enough to get me from one day to another- like drizzles that fall on a constantly parched land.

What I have, are just struggles. Sometimes, with worries added. Hardships and disappointments – and a lot of waiting.

Lots, and lots of waiting.

(Prose) Shiori

Shiori

Shiori.

Yes?

I am feeling really burnt out today.

Shiori is sitting quietly beside me, her quiet eyes looking at mine with an understanding empathy. Their black irises, along with her silky lavender-scented hair that ran down to her waist, appear slightly brownish. They look just like the surface of the ristretto I am currently sipping; the dim incandescent lighting shines right above her head,

making her look even more charming than her usual appearance.